These were the last and only lines I heard from today’s Gospel. Somebody tell me where I can find the emoticon for embarassing. I was very distracted, my mind still swimming in yesterday’s breakthrough. It wasn’t one of those clear-cut explicit victories, but that’s why it lingers. I have the sureness that something vastly important was won; but mixed with the eagerness of figuring out exactly what it is, how to maximize it for its specific instance and in general how to carry it on as a life habit. Yes, it was that kind of breakthrough. For life.

So yes, I was hopelessly distracted at today’s Mass. But as I was sincerely, even desperately trying my best to hear Mass, I’ve come to believe that in my distractions God chose to speak to me.

Here’s what He said:

What I have asked you to do, what I am asking you to do is so far beyond you that it requires you to humble yourself before men, to ask for their help, their advice and partnership, their advocacy, their time, talent and resources.

Which you have so far done only half-assedly. Because you are afraid of rejection. Because you make what I’ve asked you to do for others instead about yourself. What I am asking of you is to serve others, not to succeed for yourself. To serve, not to be served.

So understand this lesson in transcendence: when you ask others for help, know that it is I asking. It is I gifting them the opportunity to serve – a blessing I wish to grace them through you.

So don’t strangle my grace with your own vanity and pride. Ask simply, ask sincerely. Let my grace flow. To serve is many times to give others the gift of serving.